I realized that this is a good analogy when talking with parents. Many of the children/adolescents that I see for evaluation/assessment have behavior problems, and parents are at their wits end when it comes to trying to manage these behaviors. There is frustration when I have to tell parents that I don't know of a "quick fix" for this. I would tell them that managing difficult behavior, often seen with diagnoses of Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), or Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), is like getting daffodils to grow. It takes planning ahead, making the environment optimal for growth, patience, consistency...and then hopefully you will see some changes. You know many flowers grown from bulbs multiply; so I believe there will be more next year when they bloom. But again, the environment has to be maintained.

Children like structure and typically really want to do well. For some, it comes more naturally. For those with ADHD and ODD, their "wiring" interferes with this. Children with these diagnoses have trouble with inhibiting impulses, shifting from one task to another, planning and organizing, remember several things at one time, planning ahead, regulating their mood and much more. So when I say that their environment needs to be optimal and maintained, I'm literally talking about manipulating the physical environment, and externalizing cues, to support change, rather than trying to talk and reason with them. You'll save yourself a lot of trouble by minimizing verbal attempts to get them to "internally" change themselves. One inherent issue with these disorders is that persons with these diagnoses can't always make changes on their own without guidance and lots of practice.

Examples of maintaining their environment and externalizing cues might be structuring their day with expected activities at certain times and using a visible calendar they can refer to. Using technology is great, because most kids like technology. You can set buzzers and alarms, (and even set calendars with alarms), to externalize time, which persons with ADHD often have a hard time with. Academically, the more visual aids the better. Tantrums can be minimized if ignored and if choices are limited and made explicit.

It may be overwhelming to make lots of changes at once, but you don't have to plant a whole garden full of daffodils at once. Start with one or a couple; remember, that with patience and consistency, changes can multiply; your motivation will increase if you see even one start to bloom, and your child will have a better chance of blooming.